CELEBRATING THE IMPERFECT

In a previous post, I described how one of the embellished teabags for my art journal page hadn’t worked out right, and before I ditched it, I looked at the back and realised that I could use it after all, where the ink had soaked through.

I had a lovely comment which mentioned “wabi-sabi” – I had heard this expression but didn’t know what it was, so I looked it up: the celebration of imperfection in Japanese art, which has its origins in the ancient Tea Ceremony. I love the idea of celebrating imperfection being a recognised thing with a name!

I have been thinking a great deal about this in recent days.

The other day I made a new friend. We visited a couple who are fostering a litter of kittens after their feral mother was seriously injured while defending her kittens from a fox. The young lady in question works at the local cat rescue centre where this mother and babies were taken. The mother has survived but is in a bad condition and the vet recommended removing the kittens from her, partly for her own sake, and also to give them the opportunity to become domesticated rather than following in their mother’s footsteps and becoming permanently feral. My hubby knows the couple and arranged for us to go and visit and see the kittens, who are utterly adorable.

I immediately hit it off with this lovely young lady and we discovered we had so much in common. She has been through many health crises in her life and while we share many of these things in common, her history is a lot more serious than mine. I believe we will become good friends. We discussed the differing attitudes that people have, to what has been done to their bodies through numerous surgeries, and how beneficial a positive attitude is, not only for a good outcome and recovery, but also regarding one’s thoughts about body image. She had grown up angry and bitter about what had been done to her body and how difficult it was to deal with this, as well as with chronic illness, during those crucial teenage years where socialising is so important, and body image is everything – being different in this way, particularly when it relates to the bowel, is extremely embarrassing for young people. I am so grateful that I went through these experiences as a mature adult and was spared the anguish that this must cause a young person.

I related a conversation I had with a lady having chemo alongside me back in 2015 and how I was able to challenge her “pity party” attitude to her stoma. It is not so much the things that happen to us in life that are important, but how we deal with them. The arrival of a stoma in your life is an unalterable fact, something you can do nothing about. You have to learn to live with it, and how you think about it will affect how it impacts your life. You can’t change the fact of its existence, but you can change your attitude towards it, and this makes all the difference to how you live your life subsequently. One of the nurses reported back to me afterwards that the woman had found my remarks helpful.

My new friend and I agreed that in order of importance, what had helped us the most through our difficulties were faith in Jesus, a positive attitude, and a sense of humour – not to mention the support of a loving family. We also agreed that our “battle scars” are badges of victory, to be celebrated. I said to my hubby the other night that my whole trunk is now a mess and were I to appear in a bikini I would probably clear the beach! However, I am not ashamed of it and know that each scar tells its own story and is part of the rich history of my various health problems and my triumph over them, and is a testimony to the fact that I am alive, I am still here, and I am still smiling. I am strong, I have been victorious. I can rejoice in the imperfections. Wabi-sabi.

There is certainly something beautiful about the asymmetry and irregularity of much of Japanese art (think of Ikebana, their art of flower arranging), and I am also reminded of the beautiful art of Kintsugi where they repair broken pottery with gold, accentuating the flaws with something beautiful, rather than trying to hide them.

Perhaps there’s a tie-in here with celebrating one’s battle scars from repeated surgeries! Fill ’em with gold and rejoice haha!

Is this why I love wonky veg so much? Straight carrots and perfectly oval potatoes are, well, boring. Now this is much more fun.

This also brings to mind something really funny that happened to a friend of my hubby’s many years ago. His wife was cutting his hair for him. She was using an electric clipper and forgot to put on the guard that enables you to cut the hair to a predetermined length. She went straight up the back of his head with it and shaved a strip of hair right off! Not to be defeated, she grabbed a red pen and drew a line up the centre, and then took a black pen and drew in a series of Frankenstein’s monster-like stitches! Make a mistake? Don’t cover it up – make a feature of it!!

This is also a good motto for mixed media artists, along with “in mixed media, there are no mistakes, only more layers.”

My hubby and I have been catching up with some old recorded TV programmes, and we are currently watching this year’s “Great Pottery Throw-Down” competition. One of the judges is a brilliant potter and we always laugh because he cries a lot! He gets terribly emotional over people’s beautiful work, and if he cries, it’s the equivalent of the famous “Hollywood Handshake” on Bake Off!! The latest episode we watched was incredibly moving, especially for me as I felt a real connection. The challenge was to sculpt an abstract self-portrait in clay, and one of the competitors depicted herself back in her 30s when she had breast cancer – it was a kind of message to herself in the past, to have courage and not to be ashamed of her body. On the figure, where the missing breast was, she had made a hole right through the piece, and she impressed the word “Strength” down the side of the body. Down the other side were words to the effect that one shouldn’t be ashamed of one’s scars as they were tokens of victory – my own very thoughts! There wasn’t a dry eye in the house (or in our house either, for that matter). It was an incredibly powerful piece and it not only generated tears from the Weeping Potter, but also a hug! Everyone admired her courage and vulnerability in producing this incredibly personal self-portrait. She won Potter of the Week – there was really no contest. It got me thinking about how I would portray myself if I had been in the competition and I just wish I had the skill and the opportunity to create the piece! I’ve done a tiny pencil sketch of an idea but haven’t a clue how I would make it.

I have always thought that portraits, in whatever form, of people with imperfections, are a lot more interesting than those of people with perfect features. It is a very sad feature of our times that many people are so dissatisfied with the self-perceived imperfections of their bodies that they submit themselves to the rigours and dangers of plastic surgery. The result can be grotesque, in my opinion, and at best, we are seeing ranks of individuals who look the same, more like Barbie dolls than human beings, and with their unique individuality obliterated. The infinite variety of human beings is something to be celebrated, to my way of thinking. I have come to learn over the years that outer beauty is meaningless in the greater scheme of things; inner beauty, integrity, honesty and strength of character are far more important. When people form relationships and marry on the basis of physical appearance, their relationship can end up as shallow and without real foundation as the physical beauty, which fades with the years in any case.

I am reminded of the incredible artist Alison Lapper, who was born without arms and shortened legs. She was the subject of a piece sculpted by Marc Quinn, which was exhibited on the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square in London in the early 2000s. Many people found the piece shocking as it showed Alison naked and pregnant.

Quinn pointed out that classical Greek sculptures with missing arms through damage are considered beautiful, and he was showing that a sculpture depicting a subject missing arms naturally was also an object of beauty – it was all very thought-provoking regarding both art and disability. Rejoicing in the imperfections. Wabi-Sabi.

So go on, embrace life’s imperfections and fill them with gold.

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